A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
