Sry I called you an 8
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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