is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
