hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
