PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I enjoy the company of your penis
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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