He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize