Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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