the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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