Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
