We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize