I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
