i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
