There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
