What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
