Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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