Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
