Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Your shirt... Was in my pants
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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