I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize