every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
