I'm sorry my penis didn't work
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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