then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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