I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
