We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
