I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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