what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
