ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
