Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
