a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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