Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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