4 words: hood of his car
Sober January is a disaster.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize