Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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