yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
