Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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