They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
