what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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