I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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