I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
