If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
