Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
