Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
