also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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