sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
