I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
