true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
