So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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