small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
