Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
