before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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