can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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