...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
