Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
