Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
