Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
