everyone is single if you try hard enough
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
