There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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