If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
