He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
