Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize