You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
