i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he thought i was a dude.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
