wat bout pragnant strippers??
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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