What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize