Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
