There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Randomize
