I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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