It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize