I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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