Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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