Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize