So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
