is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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