ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
