I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
