Will you blow on my dice?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
