are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize