I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
