bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I need moral support for this bender
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize