i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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